So you shouted. Again. You’re ruining your kids for life, you just know it. Not so fast though, parenting mistakes can be a great chance to learn and improve. And your mistakes can actually benefit your kids too!
Did you make a mistake? Maybe you yelled at your kids or didn’t stick to a new routine. It happens to the best of us. 🤦🏻♀️
Don’t worry, you didn’t ruin your kids. Dust yourself off and try again. That’s what we tell them to do, right? Let’s take a look at some common mistakes we all make and how to stop repeating them.
Are parents allowed to make mistakes?
Of course! We all make mistakes! Parents are human, after all. The key is to learn from those mistakes and make different choices going forward.
It can actually be great for your kids to see you mess up sometimes. No, really 😉 Often, adults seem like they are perfect and know how to do everything. That can make it hard for kids to understand how to work through a struggle or try something new. They need you to model making mistakes and fixing them so they know it can be done.
Now, of course we don’t mean that it’s okay to be outright neglectful to your children. But if you are reading this, you are probably a wonderful parent who just needs a little support. You got this! 💪
Common parenting mistakes
🛑 Hiding your mistakes
Not only should you be okay with making mistakes, you should also let kids see you make them! Show how you try and struggle with new things. Position yourself as a learner to demonstrate how people sometimes fail before they succeed. Make it explicit: “Wow, I really messed up. I’m going to try again.”
🛑 Avoiding your feelings
We all lose our cool sometimes. If you shout, you can make it better. Calm down, then apologize and start fresh. If you’re sad, say so. It’s good for kids to see you manage different feelings!
🛑 Trash talking your ex
Co-parenting is hard. But make sure you keep kids out of it. Have your discussions privately, and keep your opinions of the other parent to yourself. Model strong, positive communication for your kids.
🛑 Being wishy-washy
“Time to turn off the telly. Okay, two more minutes. Now, I mean it, we are done! Okay, one more minute…” When you are inconsistent, kids notice. It opens the door for them to test boundaries and it makes them feel unsettled. They prefer limits and knowing what to expect! So set your boundaries and stick to them, even if it means a little whinging from the kids at first. When you stick to your guns, the protesting will decrease over time.
🛑 Trying to change too much at once
Did you decide you want to change your parenting? Great! But don’t overwhelm yourself by doing it all at once. Start with small changes and build from there. It’s never too late to parent differently.
Mistakes are okay!
Parenting is stressful. We are all learning and growing every day. Be gentle with yourself.
As you think about what you would like to do differently, watch out for your perceived judgment from others - do you actually view something as a mistake? Or is it something that works for your family but is a bit different from the norm? Don’t let fear-based decisions guide you! Make sure it’s something you truly want to do differently.
✨ And remember that it’s okay to let your kids see you struggle. We need to teach children to be mentally strong, and the best way to do that is to model those behaviors ourselves. Teach your kids to care for their mental health by taking care of your own as well.
Is your child struggling in school? Don’t make the mistake of letting time slip by without getting them help! Sign your child up for tutoring now so they are on track for the months to come. GoStudent tutors work one-on-one with your child to provide the support they need. 🚀