The Importance of Routines for Children: How to Set a Family Schedule

How to be the best parent

Parenting children isn’t supposed to be easy but it should be rewarding. The mere fact that you’re on this page proves that you’re doing a great job by looking for ways to achieve the best parenting possible. 

Perhaps one of the best pieces of advice for parenting is that you can’t be perfect, neither can your kids, and neither can anyone for that matter. However, there are some things you can put in place to make sure your little family unit is as peaceful as possible. 🥰

Top tips for parenting

Here are some good parenting tips to keep your household calm, happy, and loving (at least for most of the time!):

• Be a good role model - gone are the days of “do as I say, not as I do”. Your kids are constantly learning from your behaviour so if you want them to be calm, practice patience so they pick this up from you. 
• Provide unconditional love - be as supportive as you can, even when your children haven’t done exactly what they’re supposed to. Be realistic in your expectations of them so they don’t disappoint you or themself. Provide as much time as possible for them, especially in times of need.
• Be consistent - stick to your discipline measures so they know what to expect and also be consistent with how you reward them to encourage good behaviour.
• Set a clear routine and structure - the importance of routine for children means it shouldn’t be avoided. How do routines help a child's development? We’ll find out more a little later but setting a family schedule will help them feel calm and safe. 

Let’s look at how routine and structure are important to the entire family, yourself included. 

Why schedule and routine are important

Routine and structure are important to all of us. While some adults seem to fly by the seat of their pants, everyone has some level of routine and structure in their life, even if it’s a daily shower and three meals and two coffees. 

For parents like yourself, it’s even more important to introduce daily routines for kids. It will also help you and the family as a unit. That’s partly because a well-planned routine will reduce petty arguments over who’s supposed to do which chores and how much TV a teenager can watch etc. 

What’s more, routines for preschoolers and school-aged children will help them into adulthood! Let’s look at how you benefit first. 

Why are routine and structure important for parents?

We understand how stressful parenting can be…and joyful too. It’s a contrast of ups and downs, winning battles and losing others. You can make your life much easier by setting a clear structure for your kid’s day and your entire family’s.

If you don’t set a routine, it’s much harder to find time to do things you enjoy, spend time with your family, or even find some downtime. 

Here are the main benefits for you as the ever-busy, ever-loving parent:

• It will help you feel more organised (and be more organised)
• It reduces stress when you can see what needs to be done and that you have fun time scheduled in
• It helps plan out more quality time with your family so you don’t miss out on all the best bits
• It helps your child’s behaviour, reducing the need to nag them all the time
• It gives you more confidence as a parent that you’re doing a good job (which we know you are but it’s easy to forget it yourself sometimes)

Why is routine important for a child?

The importance of routine for children can’t be overestimated. Some children need even more routine than others too. All kids need some schedule to stick to though. Here’s how it helps them:

• It makes them feel safe and secure
• It builds healthy habits
• It supports their mental health
• It helps their body clocks
• It supports them through change
• It teaches them new skills
• It makes them feel included and valuable
• It makes them more independent and responsible
• It gives them activities to look forward to

Let’s look at how a family schedule leads to all of these positive outcomes in more detail. 

It makes them feel safe and secure

In general, kids' routines help them feel safe and secure. They know what to expect and what’s expected of them. The predictability of a daily and weekly schedule breeds comfort and makes them less likely to act out.

It builds healthy habits

It will build healthy grooming habits like cleaning their teeth and washing their hands that they’ll carry into adulthood. It also supports other habits you work into the schedule like exercise and doing tasks that aren’t as fun (like homework). 👍

This evokes more willingness to do the ‘boring’ things like bath time or chores. Instead of having to tell them, they know when this time is and will begin to do these activities without you asking (at least sometimes!). 

It supports their mental health

It supports their mental health by providing a more calm environment at home. They will feel less stressed when you’ve helped them be organised, especially as they get older and have homework and commitments of their own to fulfil. Kids don’t like big changes and take longer to adapt so even seemingly small routine habits go a long way. 

It helps their body clocks

That’s right, it even helps their body clocks. A daily routine helps them wind down before bedtime, get excited about playtime and even keep regular bowel movements. 

It supports them through change

Having a predictable family life and routine helps children manage big changes in their life such as puberty, divorce, moving, or getting a new sibling. It means there are at least some constants in their life and they will take comfort in the fact that some things always stay the same. 

It teaches them new skills

By giving them chores and new tasks to do they’ll learn new skills. Even if you have to help with something new to begin with, after a while they’ll be able to do this on their own. We all had to learn to get dressed at some stage. Kids of all ages feel proud when they achieve new goals and milestones and this builds confidence. 

It makes them feel included and valuable

Giving chores or tasks to kids of all ages makes them feel useful and that they’re a valuable member of the family with something to contribute. It also helps them feel part of the family and to understand what’s important to you and the family. 

This includes values and interests. For example, if you attend a religious gathering every week (or however often) they realise this is an important value. Likewise, if you go walking together on the weekend or have a family breakfast they appreciate that exercise and food (and family time) are something you and the family hold dear. 

It makes them more independent and responsible

A clear schedule will make them more independent as they know what they need to do and when. This reduces the need for you to have to ask them to do things around the house or for themself. They evolve into a more responsible person when they perform the actions on their own accord. 

It gives them activities to look forward to

When fun activities and family time are built into a routine, children of all ages feel a stronger sense of belonging. It also strengthens relationships in the family providing a solid support network at home. 

As a bonus, if they can see the rewards scattered throughout the week (e.g. play at the park, movie night, etc.) this can also help their behaviour and provide motivation for doing their ‘boring’ tasks. 

How to set a family schedule and routines for children

Even if you haven’t formally written down a family schedule you will no doubt be implementing one naturally already, at least in part. Maybe you sit down for dinner every night as a family or perhaps you read a story to your child every night before bed. 

In order to set a family schedule, you need to take into consideration the following areas:

• Chores (e.g. washing up or feeding the dog)
• Extra-curricular activities
• School time
• Family time and rituals (e.g. playing board games, trips to the park, Friday movie night, Tuesday pie night)
• Getting ready in the morning and for bed
• Mealtimes at home
• Fun activities or time with friends
• Free time

When planning out the chores, they should be fair (everyone takes turns) and predictable. However, be careful not to schedule every minute of the day for you all and leave some flexibility for free time or being spontaneous when there’s a big event in town. If a schedule becomes too regimented, your child could feel confined, which is the opposite of what good routines for children should do: instil calmness. 

We’ll give you two family routine examples for kids in the next section but first, here are some ideas of what routines you might like to introduce for your children, depending on their age. Remember, every family is different and some are more constricted by time (e.g. if parents work shifts or kids have a plethora of extra-curricular activities). 

Don’t worry if all of these won’t work for your family or if you have extra routines to include, be sure to go ahead and add them. 

Routines for toddlers 

Routines for preschoolers are essential since they can’t make these decisions for themselves. Routines for children this age support their cognitive development and reduce negative behaviours like biting and tantrums.

Routines for toddlers will vary depending on their age but can include nap times, getting ready in the morning, mealtimes, playing together, going to the park, playing in the garden, playdates with friends, picking up their toys, bedtime stories, and getting ready for bed.

Daily routine of a child in primary school

Once your kid hits primary school, they’ll need you to set a clear routine because much of their time will be spent at school. It will be essential to have them ready in the mornings to catch the school bus or for you to get them there on time. It’s also important they have plenty of time to play and still get quality time with you and the family.

A daily routine of a child in primary school will often include getting ready for school, extra-curricular activities (like music, art, or sport), doing chores, homework, video games or TV allowance, free time, mealtimes, and getting ready for bed.

Daily routine of a child in secondary school

Your tween or teen will be busier than ever. They’ll also want more of a say in their own routine as they grow more independent so you can draw their routine up with them. 

If you have two kids in this age group they may want to swap chores if they have preferences and this will help them learn the art of debate! As long as someone gets the chores done, that’s what matters but let them agree between themselves and try and stay out of it because the idea of a schedule is that you don’t have to ask them to do things. ✔️

A daily routine of a child in secondary school will often include getting ready for school, extra-curricular activities (like music, art, sport, or a part-time job), doing chores, homework, video games or TV allowance, free time, mealtimes, and getting ready for bed.

Once they’re teenagers you might want to be more flexible with them on the weekends as they’ll want their independence. You could let them have Saturday night with their friends instead of family dinner, as long as you agree on the parameters with them ahead of time. 

So, what are examples of routines?

Family routine examples

It’s usually best to have separate routines for children written down. However, you can choose to draw up a family chore schedule: this can be on a rotating basis or on chores you’ve all agreed to stick to. That way there can be no confusion over who is doing what and when. Here are two family routine examples: one for primary school kids and one for secondary school kids. 

Daily routine of a child in primary school

Daily routine of a child in secondary school

We hope you enjoy putting your family schedule in place. You’ll come to notice that the structure helps keep the peace at home and gives you more quality time together as a family. Remember, each family is different and your routine should reflect your own values and interests. 

Perhaps board games will never enter your family’s idea of fun time and instead, it will be a hike or a picnic. As long as you have activities you enjoy doing together and enough free time, everyone will embrace the schedule and help each other out by sticking to their routine.