Do’s and Don’ts for Parents if Your Child Failed the School Year


  1. Do: talk to your child
  2. Do: reach out for extra support
  3. Do: talk to your child's teachers
  4. Don't: make them feel guilty
  5. Don't: punish your child


Failure is tough to deal with. Even as adults we struggle to process failure. So just imagine what it’s like for your child if they don’t meet the mark at the end of the school year. While both you and your child will probably feel disappointed, it’s important to remember that failure doesn’t mean defeat. Supporting your child throughout their educational journey is vital. By providing your child with a strong support system at home, they will feel both empowered and capable at school. 💪💪💪

Keep on reading to discover some expert tips on what to do, and what not to do, if your child fails the school year. 📚girl doing homework in a cafe

✅ Do talk to your child 


If your child is struggling to keep up in the classroom, there’s often a reason why. There could be a problem going on behind the scenes that you don’t know about. Be sure to communicate openly and honestly with your child and try to understand the reason behind their behavior. 💬

It’s been a turbulent time lately and the chaotic switch between home learning and going back to school has played havoc with children’s routines. Your child might be struggling with their mental health or be dealing with bullying. It’s important that you don’t come to your own conclusions without talking to your child first. 🧠

The experts at Empowering Parents encourage the use of ‘What’ rather than ‘Why’ questions. Instead of asking your child “Why are you falling behind at school?” ask them “What’s going on?” This will encourage them to be more open with you without them feeling like they’re being accused of something.❓


​​✅ Do reach out for extra support 


Once you’ve practiced being open and honest with your child and identified the root of the problem, you can start to figure out how to fix it.

If your child is struggling with their mental health, there is a lot of great support available. Be sure to educate both yourself and your child about any mental health issues they might be dealing with.

Charities like Mind provide a wide range of resources focused on the mental health of young people. There’s even a special parent’s zone on the website so you’ll feel supported while you support your child. You can also find some top tips from the NHS on how to mentally support children and young people. ❤️

While there’s a lot of support out there in terms of mental health, it could be the case that your child is simply struggling academically. After such a turbulent year, it’s expected that some children feel a little out of their depth in the classroom.

Make a conscious effort to support your child with their homework and make sure you stay up to date on their curriculum so you can offer help when they need it. Your child might also benefit from getting a tutor. Why not book a trial lesson with one of our wonderful GoStudent tutors? We provide support on a wide range of subjects and just like you, want your child to perform to the best of their ability. 🌟


✅ Do talk to your child’s teachers


Reaching out to your child’s teachers is a great idea. Just like you should communicate openly and honestly with your child, the same goes for their teachers. Your child has a totally different world outside of the home and their teacher can help give you an insight into how they’re behaving at school. 

If your child is struggling, their teacher is likely to know why. Be open to working together with your child’s teacher and hear what they have to say. You could collaborate to set joint goals for your child in line with their curriculum.

Teachers are often willing to provide extra learning resources that your child can use at home. It’s a good idea to communicate with your child’s teacher regularly throughout the school year, and not only when they’re struggling. This way, you’ll get a more informed picture of how your child is doing and whether they need extra support. 🏫

❌ Don’t make them feel guilty 


We all want our kids to do well and fulfil their potential. There’s no doubt that it can be frustrating to know that your child could be doing much better at school. While failure can initially trigger feelings of frustration, upset and disappointment, for both you and your child, it’s important that you don’t make your child feel ashamed or guilty for not performing to a certain standard. 🙅‍♂️

Making your child feel guilty for struggling is likely to cause even more problems. They may end up feeling resentment, anger, or embarrassment. Instead, inform them that you know how determined and hardworking they can be. Tell them that you want to help them fulfil their potential and overcome any problems they might be dealing with. 

Failure is a part of life and your child is going to experience it at some point, whether you like it or not. So if your child hasn’t performed well this academic year, do your best to shake off any negative feelings and focus on helping them improve instead. 💕


❌ Don’t punish your child


Failure is a punishment in itself and your child is already having to deal with a lot by facing it. Don’t pile on the punishment in the event of academic failure. Instead, take time to address the root of the problem and explore alternative learning techniques with your child. ✏️

Your child is already hurting after not meeting the mark. They don’t need to deal with even more punishment at home. In fact, teaching your child that they are a failure at such a young age only serves to engrain feelings of self-doubt. Let your child know that while failure seems scary, it happens to everyone at some point. How you both deal with the failure is much more important than the failure itself. 💡

At GoStudent, we want to help your child be the best that they can be! If they’re struggling at school, why not book a free trial lesson with one of our experienced tutors today?Start your kid’s learning journey