Did you know that every parent has a style? Whether you’re aware of it or not, the way you parent falls within a theory of four styles. But what are these styles, how can you identify them, and how do they impact your kids?
According to the work of psychologist Diane Baumrind, there are four distinct parenting styles, each named after its most dominant characteristic.
The four styles are:
Now that you know what they’re called, let’s talk about what they are and how they impact your kids.
Authoritarian Parenting Style 👮
As the ‘dictators’ of the parenting world, authoritarian parents believe that children should always follow all the rules without fail.
These parents are known for using the phrase “because I said so”. There is no negotiating with this type of parent whose focus is obedience.
Authoritarian parents prefer punishment over discipline when dealing with an unruly child. And tend to make the child feel sorry for their mistakes, instead of taking the opportunity to teach them how to make better choices.
Permissive Parenting Style 🙇
Approachable, nurturing and warm, permissive parents sound like the perfect parents to many. Although they possess these great qualities, parents with this style lack consistency and structure.
Permissive parents are seen as indulgent and tend to let their children do what suits them, with little to no rules in place. These parents maintain an open line of communication and hope their children are comfortable sharing and asking for help.
Uninvolved Parenting Style 😴
This kind of parent is exactly what the style suggests, ‘uninvolved’. They typically don’t ask their children about school, very seldom have knowledge of their child’s whereabouts or what they’re doing, especially when they’re teenagers, and only on occasion do they give their child(ren) attention.
Uninvolved parents expect their children to raise themselves. Although it’s not always what they intend, these parents are neglectful and often don’t even meet the basic needs of their child.
There are countless reasons behind the uninvolved parent which include substance abuse, financial issues, health and mental health issues, to name a few.
Authoritative Parenting Style 👏
Authoritative parents believe in rules and that breaking the rules should result in consequences. Yet, unlike the authoritarian parent, they take their child’s input into account.
Good behaviour is reinforced with positive discipline strategies like reward systems.
Although they appreciate open communication with their children, they make it clear that they are still the parent and all final decisions are theirs to make.
How do these different parenting styles affect kids? 🤦
Since this theory was established, it has become widely acknowledged that each of the four styles has a unique impact on the child being raised.
The children of authoritarian parents are more likely to become adults with self-esteem and aggression issues, as the rigidity of these strict parents leaves them feeling like they have to be perfect at all costs. These children are unable to share negative emotions as they fear they may face punishment for their failures.
If you identify with the statement, “Kids should be seen and not heard”, you’re probably an authoritarian parent.
Research shows that the children of permissive parents are more likely to struggle with school work as they don’t appreciate rules and authority. 📚 Diligence and self-control are not their strong points and these children may be at risk of problems because their parents didn’t enforce rules or help them build good habits from a young age.
If you identify with the statement, “I have rules but I seldom enforce them”, you’re likely to be a permissive parent.
Children raised by uninvolved parents are forced to become adults while they’re still kids – having to be their own, and even the ‘parent’ of a younger sibling. 🙇 Although this teaches them about life from a young age, they’re likely to struggle with their emotions, exhibit behavioural issues and lack self-esteem.
If you identify with the statement, “I have too much to worry about, they can take care of themselves”, you might be an uninvolved parent.
Considered the healthiest parenting style, you can expect that the child(ren) of authoritative parents will grow up to be friendly, curious, self-reliant, cooperative and goal oriented. 💯 Authoritative parenting essentially sets children up to become well-rounded adults who can make a positive contribution to their worlds.
If you identify with the statement, “The rules have consequences, but your feelings about them are valid”, you’re likely an authoritative parent.
Interested in finding out more about your parenting style? Here’s a quiz we’d recommend taking.
Every parent needs help and guidance at some point – in fact, acknowledging this and actively seeking help is the mark of a good parent. Does your child need a tutor? GoStudent tutors are here to support children across learning needs and capabilities. Schedule your free trial session today. 🚀